


A Carefully Built Room

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, Prompt Fill, but not in detail, sonny gets some fucking therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 12:58:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17787836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: From the prompt: Barisi, waking up in a cold sweat at 3AM.





	A Carefully Built Room

Sonny comes awake hard. He can't remember the exact details of his dream--he never does--but he remembers the feelings. The fear, the need to escape, something dark and heavy wrapping around him and trying to hold him back. He flexes his fingers just to sure he's awake. In the dreams, he can't move properly, his whole body weighed down and making him slow and clumsy. His fingers clench and unclench with the expected pressure, and Sonny is finally able to take a deep breath and feel a hint of relief.

Rafael rolls over, snores quietly once, and shifts towards Sonny in his sleep. Sometimes, Sonny's dreams wake him up. Sometimes, Rafael sleeps through. Rafael's made it clear that Sonny should wake him up any time he needs. Sonny doesn't have to lie in the dark alone with his fear. 

Sonny turns on his side and slides his arm around Rafael's waist. Rafael hums happily and curls even closer, head ducking down as he burrows farther into the pillow. Sonny presses a soft kiss to his head and breathes in the smell of Rafael's shampoo. He's here, safe in their bed. The door is locked. They're off-the-clock. No one here will put a gun to Sonny's head. No one here will threaten Rafael's life. If either of them fall off the bed they'll bruise at most. 

Sonny used to spend an hour or two awake after his dreams, heart hammering and mind scaring up new things to fear. Rafael had quietly mentioned therapy one night, even offered to go along as support, and Sonny had said yes to both. He'd well surpassed the time to try and tough it out. He never should have toughed it out in the first place. He's glad Rafael understands that sometimes Sonny has to try too hard to fix it himself before he can seek the help he knows he needs to really take care of himself. 

His therapist worked with him and Rafael on breathing, on visualization, and on talking himself down. They had created a safe place is Sonny's head, where he can put away the circling thoughts and concentrate, instead, on being calm. 

The place in his head is two rooms. One holds the thoughts. They're lined up on shelves, like law books, Every shelf has a glass front with a lock. Sonny closes his eyes and pictures himself opening the glass front, picking up the thoughts that are trying to whirl in his head, and putting them back in place. He imagines locking the glass front, so his thoughts are visible, but they're secure. They can't get to him with the glass in the way.

He sees the bedroom he's in, except there's a fireplace, and the bed is piled high with blankets and quilts and a comforter even warmer and cozier than the one he and Rafael use in the winter. The blankets are all pulled back, and Sonny pictures himself getting under the pile, the weight of the blankets comforting and helping him relax. He imagines his favorite cup of tea on the nightstand and his favorite book in his hand. In this space, Rafael is always asleep on his shoulder, hair messy and soft. He nuzzles Sonny intermittently as Sonny reads his book and enjoys his tea and basks in the warmth of the fire.

This is the safe space in Sonny's head: warm and homey and always with Rafael. 

Sonny plays the scene in his head again and again, the edges blurring a bit as he starts to fall back asleep. He presses one last kiss to Rafael's head before he's out and takes Rafael's contented sound in response into his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> The safe space I've described for Sonny is a therapeutic technique that can really helpful when you're trying to confront and handle your previous trauma. I think it's something that would be very useful to Sonny if the show ever let him get some fucking therapy.


End file.
